okay... i think i'm not the only one who will say that this week is perhaps the most boring and tiring and stressing and irritating and sickening week in our school life...
super... not to mention revisions are literally pilling up... but so many quizzes will always be there for us to TORTURE OUR PRECIOUS BRAINS...
okay... starting off with tomorrow's itinerary... we have MATHS AND PHYSICS TESTS... for maths it's about geometry... and i'm still hoping that i can pass it cause it'll be quite embarassing if i fail it... for physics... to admit it... I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA ON THE TOPIC FOR THE TEST... i'm hoping to pass of course... but who can pass if a person do not have any idea about the test's topic... omg... for mother tounge period tomorrow... I PROMISE THAT I'LL STUDY PHYSICS... i'm not gonna do it for the sake to just pass one test... but i'm gonna do it for myself as well... preparing for 'O' Levels...
i had this feeling last tuesday to be absent in every single day of this week... but because of my dearests in school... everything changes... ALL OF THEM ARE THE REASON WHY SCHOOL HAVE LIFE...
ESPECIALLY TO KHAI... BALQIS... MIDZI... FANA... MAZ... THANK YOU SO SO MUCH... they are the reason why i can still hold on and why i can still survive throughout all the stress that distraught me so so much...
BUT NOW... I BEGAN TO DOUBT IF I CAN PURSUE ALL OF MY DREAMS IN KOREA...
IF I CAN BE LIKE DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기)... IF I CAN SING AND DANCE IN KOREA... IF I CAN BE AN SM ENTERTAINMENT ARTIST... IF I CAN JOIN SM ACADEMY... IF I CAN PERFORM WITH DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기)... IF I CAN SEE DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기) PERSONALLY... IF I CAN BE SUPER DUPER FRIENDS WITH DONG BANG SHIN KI(동방신기)... IF I CAN HAVE THE AUTOGRAPH OF DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기)... IF I CAN TAKE PICTURES WITH DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기)... IF I CAN BE FAMOUS LIKE DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기)... IF I CAN BE AN ENDORSER LIKE DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기)... (SO IN SHORT EVERYTHING ABOUT DONG BANG SHIN KI 동방신기...)
NEXT...
IF I CAN FIX MY SICKENING TEETH... IF I CAN SLIM DOWN AND BE BACK TO MY 63 KILOGRAMS BODY... IF I CAN GO TO KOREA AND STUDY THERE... IF I CAN MARRY A GORGEOUS KOREAN GIRL... IF I'LL HAVE KIDS THAT WILL BE HALF-KOREAN AND HALF-FILIPINO... IF I CAN BUY A MANSION IN KOREA... IF I CAN OWN AT LEAST 4 OF MY DREAM CARS...
the most irritating part is whereby people insult you or degrade you and keep on telling your face that YOU CANNOT ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS... i mean i know i'm not a perfect human being... not gifted so much by GOD like other people... but i'm thankful that GOD gave me this chance to live and to experience both HAPPINESS AND SADNESS...
however... in my condition right now... I'M REALLY STARTING TO FEEL A DOUBT IN MYSELF WETHER I CAN PURSUE ALL THESE DREAMS... i know it begins one step at a time... but... i'm starting to feel like forwarding time... and to see the future wether i can achieve all my dreams... SO IF I CAN'T... THEN I WON'T WASTE ALL MY TIME AND EFFORTS...
BOTH MY DEARESTS (friends) AND MY DREAMS ARE THE MAIN REASON WHY I CAN SURVIVE SCHOOL... AND THE MAIN REASON WHY I'M STUDYING LIKE HELL... but if i'm gonna loose either of these two precious things... then for sure... i'm gonna be down in the drain...
some more... i'm starting to feel that my parents are obviously correct... that my DEAREST ELDEST SISTER WOULD SUCCEED MORE THAN ME... issit true??? will it eventually gonna happen???
omg... suddenly i become like this??? omg... i dunnoe what happened... it all started 3 hours ago before i took a nap and after listening to DONG BANG SHIN KI (동방신기) SONGS... i can't even believe why the hell am i typing this stuffs... hayz... my goodness... WOULD I STILL BE ABLE TO REACH OUT FOR MY OWN PRECIOUS DREAMS???
anyways... i'll be praying to GOD so so much to give me more courage and hope in my everyday life... i wanted to see light from GOD... i wanted to see great silver linings in the sky... but i believe that GOD WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME...
but I'M STILL HOPING FOR A BRIGTHER FUTURE FOR ME...
*BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND IT CAN LEAD YOU TO GREAT SUCCESS*
***ALWAYS AND FOREVER XIAH JUNSU 시아준수***
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